One thing is sure – men and women are very different beings and the things we don’t understand about each other can cost us energy, happiness and even the relationship we want. I’m going to share with you what men are actually thinking (some things they themselves seldom realize) and put it in terms that are relatable as a woman so you’ll never need to be confused again.

Understand what men are looking for in a relationship

You’ll know what men truly want and how to show up in a way that the kind of man you’re looking for finds literally irresistible (seriously – I tried to resist Jenn for two years because I thought I wanted something else and all that happened was I watched myself not be able to resist a woman for the first time, because how she showed up left me powerless to choose any other woman but HER). 

The truth is, men are mostly quite similar to women. However, there are a few differences, and those are the things that really trip us up.  We figure that because we’re similar in most areas that the other 10% should somehow match up if the OTHER gender could just see how right we are!  

These differences are what are critical to understand, and honestly once you know this it’s like having a superpower when it comes to interacting with the other gender.  Fair warning though – it’s kind of a challenge to manage all the attention you attract once you figure this out.  Maybe that doesn’t sound like a bad problem to have, but I’m telling you now that you can’t un-know this and become less attractive to men after…

The Key Differences Between Men And Women

Men REALLY Don’t want to Get Into Conversations About Emotions The Way Women Do

This part of the 10% is something that really gets misunderstood by women.  It’s not that men don’t have emotions, but they don’t understand them and they don’t want to talk about them.  Even when they do, they often end up in arguments about what you KNOW they’re feeling vs. what they THINK they’re feeling.  There’s a way to talk to men about their emotions in a way that they become completely transparent and vulnerable, I’ll be sharing that with you. 

Men generally have a harder time identifying and empathizing with the emotions of others as well.  So if you’re feeling a certain way, don’t expect him to easily recognize that and address it, or to quickly understand why you’re feeling that way. Just because you would immediately recognize what’s going on in a situation doesn’t mean that he would see the same thing.

In that same vein, sometimes the best choice when he’s going through something difficult is to give him space to work through it himself. He might not be used to discussing his emotions or his problems with someone else and he might prefer to figure it out in his own head.

Either way – he’ll let you know when he’s ready to talk about it with you.  (I’ll also share what to do if it seems like he’s never ready to talk to you about feelings – yours or his.)

Men And Women Focus On Different Parts Of A Conversation

Growing up most girls learn to share their problems and secrets with each other. Boys, on the other hand, are socialized to bond over shared activities and interests by talking about them.

In fact, boys are often socialized not to share the problems that they’re facing. Many are taught that it’s ‘more manly’ to face your problems alone rather than look for help from friends and others.  He’s much more likely to bond over what his favorite sports teams were or what games he liked playing rather than bond over what he thought of other people or problems he might have been going through.

So when you’re talking to him about a problem at work or a friend you’re having differences with, it might seem like his attention is drifting – because that’s not what he’s typically focused on.

Guys often respond to hearing about problems by trying to solve them and offer solutions. It’s an often-referenced complaint that guys offer solutions instead of support – but they think they’re being supportive by offering solutions!  

If he tries to solve your problem rather than just listening to it and supporting you, know that that’s a very male response and it’s all about how he was brought up.  I’ll tell you what you need to do in order to get them to just listen.

Men Are Looking For A Woman That Adds Something Special

I’m going to tell you exactly how Jenn showed up differently than every other woman that proved to me a partner could make my life 100x better WITH her than remaining uncommitted.

The way to make him feel that way is to bring your best to the relationship every day, and demand that he brings his best as well.

If he’s dragging his feet and not committing to you – don’t commit to him either – he has to know that if he doesn’t step up and ‘lock you down’ then he will eventually lose you.

He has to know that he needs to bring his best to the relationship every day in order to “earn” you and keep you by his side.

These are a few of the biggest differences between men and women, but more importantly, there’s one part of understanding men that’s key in relationships. 

This insight is one of the most important ingredients in a happy relationship – without it things can fall apart very quickly.

The Key To Understanding Men And Relationships

If you really want to understand men, and understand what they want in relationships, this is what to remember: Conscious men are happy when they’re fulfilling their purpose and their partner is feeling fulfilled and happy as well.

Men want a relationship that is as drama free as possible. They hate arguments, they hate fights, they hate worrying that they’re going to say or do the wrong thing, and they hate walking on eggshells to avoid drama.  (Their is equal responsibility between both partners to make this happen – I’ll explain very clearly where I see that division so you only need to own the half that’s yours).

When a relationship is relaxed and comfortable, a guy can let his guard down. He won’t feel like he’s got to avoid saying the wrong thing, and he won’t feel like he’s going to upset you by relaxing and showing you his true self.

If he feels like he can ‘take off his mask’ and be his true self in the relationship – he will choose you over every other woman, every time for the rest of all time.

This is the key to understanding what men want in a relationship. Men (and women) have to wear masks in public all day, hiding their true selves. These masks go on in front of friends, or at their jobs, or wherever they are, because they try to meet the expectations of others rather than live who they truly are.

So when a guy finds a woman who not only welcomes it when he acts like his true self around her, but accepts who that is and loves that person – he never lets go. He would go to the ends of the earth to be with that woman, because she loves him for who he truly is.

If you can give him the space to relax, let his guard down, and be his true self around you, he’ll never want to let you go.  He’ll love being around you, he’ll crave being around you, and he’ll do whatever it takes to be with you.

That’s how you truly understand men – by giving him the space to be who he truly is around you. And that’s how you build a relationship that lasts.

I hope this helps you better understand men a little better. If you want to truly understand him you need to know about the pivotal moment in any relationship that determines if you get to live happily ever after or he leaves you so pay attention to this next step because it’s vitally important:.

At some point he will ask himself, “Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term?”

The answer to that will determine the fate of your relationship: Do you know how men determine if a woman is a ‘filler’,  girlfriend material, or the one he commits to forever?  

Do you know why men are so reluctant to share how deeply they feel about you and what makes them spill it all and trust you enough to be ‘the one’ they trust their most personal thoughts and experiences with?

I’m going to cover all of this and the other BIG questions that have frustrated women in a 6 Week Live Q & A series beginning in October that I’m opening to 10 women who are courageous enough to learn the truth.

Calls will be held at 2 different times of day to give everyone a chance to be their live, and they’ll be uploaded into the group when done for anyone who misses them.  In addition, you’ll be able to ask questions whenever they come up that we’ll work on covering in the next calls.

Before you sign up remember – you can’t un-know this once you hear it and you’re going to have to be prepared for the kind of power this gives you when it comes to men.  If you feel ready to take that on, sign up and I’ll email you the details to get you into the group and when the calls will be.